Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
