He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
