come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize