I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
