we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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