wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize