Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
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Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
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I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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