Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
