so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
My feet surprised me
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
