I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
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My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
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Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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