Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
