She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
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WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
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Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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