I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
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I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
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I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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