I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
