Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Did we literally take a cab across the street
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
