there's paper in my vomit.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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