I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
