Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
