Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
