awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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