the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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