when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.