Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.