I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
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She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud