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is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
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