The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Never joke about your clitoris.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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