on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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