is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Text me some of your sweat
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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