The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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