Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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