i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
soo... how was my night?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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