I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
