The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
