Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
