I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
