Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
