I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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