I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
