Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
