wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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