You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
