Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
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im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
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Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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