Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
