Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
