Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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