He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
