If i come over, it means nothing
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
