Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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