jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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