No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
