My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
