I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
