I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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