How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize