i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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