my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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