I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
