"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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