I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
